Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
