I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize