I'm so fucking centered right now
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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