That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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