I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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