I'm going to jail i love you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
