can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
