Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The air was thick with penises
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
