I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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