Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
