dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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