i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
