Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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