i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
