I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is Oprah even human
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
