Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
