She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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