So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
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Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize