Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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