Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
