This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
