Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
