I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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