it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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