: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
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