I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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