I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
