well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
