so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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