we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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