uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
