Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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