they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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