drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
