Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize