chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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