Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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