This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize