I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
