The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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