All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
