I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
