Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
