OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize