In the future we'll all be gay
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
