perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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