THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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