but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
