I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
