Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
3 2 1 whiskey
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
