Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
