come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
