I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
