it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
