Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
