You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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