can u get pink eye on your cock?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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