Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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