i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
