dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
