And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
