i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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